Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
splinters make it hard to masturbate
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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