i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
