When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
