White coat. Heels.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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