Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
