Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
