had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize