i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
