I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
