with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
