My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
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so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
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I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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