also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
