You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
