just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
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Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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