He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
