I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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