Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
