roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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