plz talk dirty to me
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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