Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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