i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
