Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
