Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
