He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
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I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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