Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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