If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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