we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize
