Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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