pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
