You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
