I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I smell stomach acid.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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