She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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