Grow some girl-balls and come out already
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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