this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
