It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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