the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Your dad touched me again.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
