found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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