piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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