I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
