I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
