so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
