Already got asked if we're dating
You work out of a Hotel?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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