she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize