This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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