You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
