would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
