We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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