Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
