We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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