If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize