This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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