dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
