i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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