she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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