Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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