All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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