Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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