i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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