i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
